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Thursday, September 24, 2015

The Importance of Visiting Oscar

Visiting a graveyard was not high on my priority list when I first traveled to Paris.  Notre Dame? Yes.  The famous Opera House? Definitely.  But not a graveyard.  Pere Lachaise Cemetery is incredibly famous – its occupants include Jim Morrison and Gertrude Stein, among other luminaries, but you wouldn’t know it from looking at it.  Its high concrete walls and barely-paved path don’t scream “tourist attraction;” instead, they invite those who are already privy to their secrets, and I was happy to be among that number the afternoon I decided to visit. 

The trek to the outskirts of Paris was long and a little sketchy – the only Metro line was in French, which I didn’t speak, and the neighborhood around the cemetery was rough.  But the cemetery itself was surprisingly welcoming: its walls might be high, but its entryway is magnificent, with elaborate wrought-iron gates, and its aisles are filled with tall trees casting graceful shadows across an abundance of headstones. 

The famously lipstick-covered tomb of Oscar Wilde was my quarry on this beautiful afternoon in Paris, my last day in France.  There was no easy path through the cemetery; instead, I wove through gravestones and statues, hoping I wasn’t stepping on anyone important and offering up karmic apologies to the dead as I went.  When his section number emerged from the glare of sunlight, I scoured the landscape for the Byzantine angel that guards Wilde’s grave. 

It wasn’t hard to find. 

It was, in fact, painfully obvious, its wings rising far above the nearby graves and its unusual, blunt style a little out of place of the other Victorian-era pieces that surround it.  I could see where it had been vandalized years before, its magnificent angel ‘package’ destroyed, but one important part seemed to be missing: the lipstick. 

            Wilde’s grave is a pilgrimage for people like me, who love and worship literature and wit.  Part of that journey is to offer him a kiss, leaving a mark behind for all who follow to see.  Apparently, part of that process was also getting your kisses cleaned off, because Wilde’s tomb was clean and polished through the Plexiglas that now guarded it. 

            I was not deterred.  I spent several long minutes with his grave, standing in the quiet and isolated aisle of this foreign place.  I took my time circling the tomb, reading the plaque that discussed its restoration a few years ago and asked visitors to respect the wishes of his descendants. 
            Eventually, I felt ready to pull out the lipstick. 

Pre-Metro journey, I had spent hours stumbling around downtown Paris, desperately seeking a cosmetics store, any cosmetics store, to find a color of lipstick I might actually wear. It wasn’t easy; I don’t like pink, which was apparently the go-to color of French women, but eventually I found a dark purple-maroon that suited me.  I wanted to be a part of this tradition, but I also wanted to be true to myself, as Wilde would advise. 

The kiss I planted on his Plexiglas tomb was big and sloppy, victim of far more lipstick than any self-respecting woman should apply.  But I paused as my lips pressed against his grave, feeling connected to tradition and time through this one little moment. 

When I pulled away, I popped open the tube again and signed my name near my lipstick kiss, a big flourish on the “E” just like I sign it in my classroom.  My students took to calling me “Equinox” and nothing else last semester, no title or anything, and I wanted that immortalized – they are, after all, how I learned to love and admire Oscar Wilde.  I am connected to him through my profession more so than any other way, and I knew I’d be grateful I kissed his tomb the next time I taught The Important of Being Earnest

That evening, I left Paris for Italy.  My French adventure was over.  I may never return to France, and I looked back on that with a little sadness.  Before long, my kiss would wash away, just like hundreds, even thousands, before me.  But for that moment, I was a part of something bigger than myself, the legacy of language and wit and life that Wilde breathed into his work.  I had kissed his grave, leaving a mark like the one he’d left on me. 

I drew a heart too, still in that same maroon lipstick.  I think he’d like that.  
**NOTE: My last name is not actually Equinox :) 

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