Covert Cosplay

I showed up to a conference this past weekend dressed as The Wizard Howl and no one noticed.  

It’s one of my favorite things to do: throw on a shirt, some jewelry, some little thing that alludes to something I love, and all of a sudden my day has a new twist of covert cosplay.  No one notices, and why should they?  Few of my colleagues are watching much Miyazaki in their free time.  Neither are they binge-watching Attack on Titan, nor trying to save the galaxy from Reapers, nor achievement hunting in Hitman: Absolution, nor fangirling out over the latest Cullen-mance development in the DAI: Trespasser DLC, or anything else that I tend to be doing. 

It doesn’t bother me; I have friends at work and I have friends outside work, and I don’t expect much overlap.  I’d be sorely disappointed if I did, let’s be honest. 

In my life, covert cosplay happens all the time:  I wear my “Paragon” ring, a throw to my morality track in Mass Effect, to school most days, and I’ve even worn it to job interviews.  It never gets a second look – it’s low-profile and simple, like my Shepard, and if an interviewer does notice it, he or she will undoubtedly think, “Hey, Paragon! That means ‘role model,’ right?”  And poof! I’ve just subliminally suggested that I’m an excellent person to hire. 

When a small bronze key rests around my neck, no one asks what it opens.  Keys are a pretty common jewelry choice for women, so I raise exactly zero eyebrows.  If it just happens to be the same key as the one Eren Jaeger wears, the one we are all waiting to find out the secret it unlocks, that’s my little secret. 

The earrings and necklace I made out of an Attack on Titan keychain are pretty obvious though, if someone is in the know.  Occasionally, I do get questions from students about what the shields are supposed to be, or why my earrings are different (the Stationary Guard and the Military Police grace my ears, while the Scouting Division is the pendant).  I never back down – I always feel like I’m a role model (a Paragon, if you will J) for other nerds, for students who love the things I do but keep them quiet for fear of being judged, and I’m open about what my jewelry means.

Some items are more subtle.  Galadriel’s flower ring and the matching necklace I found at a con look like pretty floral jewelry, and Thorin Oakenshield’s belt buckle makes a lovely pendant when I need something simple and elegant for an outfit.  Sure, if I wear the Ring of Barahuir to a concert or in place of my wedding ring, people notice the snakes and the stone, but most of my Lord of the Rings items pass easily under the non-nerd radar. 

Those days, my fellow nerds are likely to find me out, but Lord of the Rings is a love I am always happy to share. 

I also have a matching set of amber jewelry, earrings from the Smithsonian and a necklace I found online, that offer a subtle allusion to Jurassic Park – amber, after all, being an essential part of the Jurassic Park process.  I doubt anyone thinks twice about the teacher wearing amber jewelry those days, but I can smile to myself, knowing the reasons why I purchased them and why I wear them.  

Ed’s alchemy circle from Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood in an oft-worn pendant. 

A bracelet that reads “I am the Sword in the Darkness” floats around one wrist. 

And I’m sure there’s more, if only I dug through my jewelry box. 

my own private homage to Jurassic Park

Of all my covert cosplay though, Howl is my favorite.  I adore this movie – it combines all that beautiful fantasy artwork with such a gentle, poignant love story that I melt every time I watch it.  Thankfully, others share my love and Etsy is filled with jewelry options.  When I bought my Howl jewelry – the jade teardrop earrings and the heavy blue pendant – I spent hours online, exploring all my options before I made my choice.  Now, all I have to do is wear a white shirt and black slacks and the look is complete – and no one is ever the wiser. 

Regardless of their subtly or lack thereof, my tastes in jewelry have never been questioned.  I’ve never been stopped by my principals and asked what I’m wearing, and other than the occasional quick compliment, my friends never delve into their deeper meaning.  I’m not bothered; I don’t, after all, interrogate them about their jewelry choices.  Mine are just for me.

Sometimes I wonder if my colleagues are doing the same thing; if I see someone wearing all green stones one day, are they offering homage to the Matrix, or do they just like the color?  If their earrings don’t match, are they inviting me to ask and learn about some fantastic new show, or did they forget to check the mirror this morning?  

I don’t usually ask.  I’ll compliment if I catch the reference, or just in general sometimes, but I go back and forth about assuming on a deeper meaning.  After all, if I see someone wearing amber and I start talking about Jurassic Park, chances are pretty good they are going to back away slowly instead of joining my enthusiasm. 

That’s okay though. 

I love showing off all my interests, and if I’m the only one understands the reference, then I spend the day smiling to myself, enjoying the inside joke that no one else gets.  

The Fangirl Freebie Five

My “freebie” list poses pretty much no danger to my husband and I’s relationship.  Lots of people have these lists -- those five people you can sleep with, guilt-free, should the opportunity arise -- and in my experience, most of them seem to be like mine: a fun conversation, but not real in terms of actual sex occurring.  I know I’d be pissed if Bishop slept with anyone else, Scarlett Johansson or otherwise, freebie list or otherwise, and I imagine he’d feel about the same.  

In theory, I supposed he could feel threatened, like I was out trolling for some celebrity, or like I’m trying to suggest he get in better shape or something via a girl trap.  

However, that risk is pretty low considering my list is populated entirely by fictional characters.  

So, thanks to extensive thought and research, I present my “freebie five,” in no particular order. 

1. Aragorn from The Lord of the Rings. 

Ah, Aragorn! I do love this man (and I don’t just mean the Viggo Mortensen version from the movies).  He’s such a great character! So independent and mysterious as Strider, the Ranger from the North, and so dark – his world is quietly adventure-filled, lived in the shadows but dripping with potential for greatness.  And when he starts to take control of his destiny… that hesitation he displays, like he knows what he’s meant for but he’s not sure he can handle it, being Isildur’s Heir, is wonderful.  He’s such a positive, empowering character – he learns to embrace his life, his fate, even as he battles the darkness settling in around (and within) him.

2. Iron Man

Let’s face it, this one is all about Robert Downey Jr.’s Iron Man, not the comic books.  I just love him, and if he were real, I would gladly be one of those random women he hooks up with, provided he agreed to at least wear the Iron Man mask (the rest might be a little …restrictive).  I’m not normally that kind of person in my real life, but I do adore his self-centered quips and crazy antics. He’s not marriage material – sorry, Pepper Potts! – but just once, for fun? Done. 

3. Sherlock Holmes

Sherlock, love of my fictional life! While Sherlock Holmes in almost any form is on the list here, my top choice would have to be the Benedict Cumberbatch iteration.  Benedict Cumberbatch himself should very possibly be on this list too… hm….

Um... yum. That's all I've got to say. 

4.  Malcolm Reynolds, captain of the Firefly Serenity

I’ve thought about swapping out Mal for the man himself, Nathan Fillion, since I love him as Rick Castle too, but I don’t think there’s a lot of potential there.  I’d be willing to if I thought it was a legit possibility (in as much as any of this is ‘legit’), but I’ve met Nathan Fillion in a haze of glorious nerd-gasms, and sadly, the opportunity did not arise.  So I’m sticking with Mal, because the fictional possibilities are more fun to plunder than the sad reality that it’s not going to happen with Fillion. 

Can we talk about this smirk? Please tell me we can talk about this smirk. 

5. … I had trouble thinking of #5. 

The space was blank for a long time as I pondered the choices. 

My first thought is to put Garrus from Mass Effect on there, or Cullen from Dragon Age: Inquisition, but I absolutely cannot pick between those two, so they’re both out.  Bishop would understand and let me have both, if it came to that :)  

I think he’d understand about Alistair too, so he’s also out.  In fictional terms, I’ve already “done it” with these characters due to how Bioware writes their games, so I guess none of them belong on the list in the first place.  But if I start second-guessing the creation of a freebie list with fictional characters, this is all going to fall apart, so I’m not going to pick at that thread.  

I wondered too if Hellsing’s Alucard belongs on this list, given my desperate love for all his vampire glory. But deep down… Alucard scares the shit outta me.  He is straight-up terrifying, and as much as I love him, I don’t think that’s the way I’d want this “freebie” to go down. 

I’ve already written about how Edward Elric from Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood is now wildly inappropriate due to our age differences, so I won’t rehash that here. 

I also considered Chris Pine as Captain Kirk in the Star Trek reboot, and I have to say, I almost got stuck there.  He’s a great character, born from decades of backstory and canon to draw upon, and I think Chris Pine doesn’t get nearly the acting credit he deserves either.  His character has so much depth, despite his shield of immaturity and humor, that he is someone I could definitely get behind. Or under, as the case may be ;) 

However, after much deliberation, I have to say that my #5 is actually Thorin Oakenshield, as played exclusively by Richard Armitage.  Just…. Mm, just yum.  I’ve got little else driving this point other than pure lust, seeing as Oakenshield as a character can be rather despicable at times (despite his noble intentions).  But Armitage as him, with that deep thrumming voice, blue eyes, and long hair… that just does things for me. 

Look at the BURN in those eyes… and his hair, oh how I love his hair.

Upon reviewing this list, I’m not sure my husband legitimately has much to worry about.  Say, by some beautiful miracle, all these guys were real and actual possibilities… *long pause while I bask in the amazing of that universe* All these guys have something, some characteristic, in common with my wonderful husband, and so I still have trouble seeing anything really happening. 

Sherlock, Thorin, Mal, and Aragorn all have the dark hair and blue eyes that my husband has.  Mal, Iron Man, and Sherlock all have that touch of humor I love so much about him. Thorin, Mal, and Aragorn all have that insane loyalty that tells me my husband would go to the ends of the earth for me.  Iron Man has that playful edge that makes my husband a perfect fit for me, and Sherlock, though way too smart, has the same kind of crazy intelligence that means my husband and I can argue about pointless theoretical topics for hours at a time, bickering all the while. 

And most of my back-ups have something too – Alucard may be too intense and Elric may be too young, but Kirk is adventurous and just a little bit nuts, Garrus is devoted and sexy to a fault, Alistair is sarcastic and hilarious and snuggle-able, and Cullen is careful and serious and faithful to the cause. 

What it boils down to is that I love my husband for being human, which means that, even though I’d love to mentally play with the possibilities, none of my freebie five could quite measure up.

Alistair does have some serious abs though…. Maybe Bishop can work on that ;)

So it begins...

The Steam Summer Sale is here....

Each progressive sale is rather like this:

I'm of course excited -- here's my chance to finally own Sid Meier's Beyond Earth!!!  But past that, I'm not sure what I'm going to buy yet.

 I need to wait for the lower prices, as Aragorn suggests.  There's gotta be a day when Witcher 3 is, like, 80% off, right? Right??

Also: I'm still riding the Steam Train of games I bought last year and haven't yet played... Maybe I shouldn't bother, maybe I'll wait until the next sale, probably after Christmas, and get new stuff then...

Oh shit, is that Metro Redux? Will my wallet survive??

The Hobbit: Needs More Desolation

Let's face it: there is very little actual desolation happening in The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug.  I admit, it's an intimidating name for the second movie of a trilogy (the second movie always needs whatever help it can get -- I'm looking at you, Matrix Reloaded).  But Smaug doesn't even eat anyone, let alone destroy anything.  Erebor survives with some minor wear and tear, and Peter Jackson couldn't even write in the death of one of the lesser dwarves?? I mean, seriously, of the 12, there are at least three that even an uber-nerd like me can't name; I would have happily sacrificed a little literary accuracy for Smaug to live up to his name.

And truly, a little more inaccuracy really wouldn't have changed much.  I enjoyed the Lord of the Rings books immensely -- I can even slog through the chapters where Tolkien pretty much just describes Frodo and Sam walking for several hundred pages -- but there's no arguing that they could never transfer perfectly to the screen, no matter how good the screenwriting is.  It's pretty damn good here too: Peter Jackson of LOTR fame combined with Guillermo del Toro of Pan's Labryinth and Hellboy II: The Golden Army make for a legendary duo, and then you add Phillipa Boyens and Fran Walsh, both of whom helped adapt the original trilogy of the screen as well.  That's no shortage of writing power right there.  These writers clearly worked their asses off to make these movies work as adaptations of the books; they cut the right stuff, added the right characters (such as Arwen, who only appears in the Return of the King appendices but makes a beautiful, emotional addition to the trilogy), and managed to keep the right tone for all three movies.  The addition of del Toro in The Hobbit series clearly changed some of the art and costumes -- just compare the Goblin King in the first movie to the terrifying creatures of Pan's Labryinth -- but Tauriel and Legolas serve as solid evidence that accuracy doesn't need to be perfectly maintained here for the stories to work, to still be told with respect and beauty and awe.

And even with all that, the desolation promised in the title remains merely a hint at what's to come in the final movie, The Battle of The Five Armies.

I don't yet know what to think about the final movie of the Lord of the Rings.  I'm excited for it: it's the end of the series, the end of an era really. After December, there will be no more LOTR movies.  (Yes, it's possible someone, somewhere, will make another. But books like The Silmarillion are such dense high fantasy that I have trouble believing someone will undertake the task. Don't forget that originally, Peter Jackson wasn't even on board to make the Hobbit movies. Plus, apparently there are some legal issues with the Tolkien estate anyway.)  After December, The Hobbit will end and the stories will come full circle.

I'm also worried about it.  So far, I'm unimpressed with the trailers I've seen.  The main one features a lot of dramatic, eerily quiet scenes while Bilbo narrates rather sadly over them before transitioning into Pippin's song from The Return of the King.  Now, I might be alone in this and I'm fine with that, but I hated that song.  I know songs are an important part of Tolkien's writing, his world-building, but that song just irks me.  Its lyrics come from a poem in the first book, and I don't find that the song adaptation does the poem justice, nor does it offer any additional emotional depth to the movie.  If anything, its placement as a background to Denethor feasting while his son Faramir's forces get pummeled makes it seem cruel and hopeless, carrying no value at all.  So adding it to the trailer makes the whole movie seem dark and depressing and only vaguely worth watching.  I usually love the LOTR soundtracks; in fact, I own several of them.  Their music always washes over the films in such epic beauty, composed to carefully mimic the mood of the story, like the Misty Mountain song in the first Hobbit movie.  My god, I'm not sure there is a better example of a perfectly matched story and song (go listen if you haven't heard it, it's incredible).  So the music for the trailer, to me, sets it up for potential issues.

I'm also wondering about the reception this final movie will receive.  Bishop has been on a movie review conspiracy streak lately, convinced that movie people are paying off the Rotten Tomatoes people for excellent ratings; his primary evidence is that Guardians of the Galaxy has a higher rating than The Godfather, which, while I'm sure isn't a conspiracy, is pretty damning evidence that something sure is amiss.  With that in mind, I've been thinking about The Return of the King.  When it was released in 2003, it basically swept the Oscars, winning everything from Best Sound Mixing and Costume Design to Best Picture and Best Director and tying with Titanic (and Ben-Hur, oddly enough) for most Oscars won ever (11).  It's considered the only fantasy movie to have won Best Picture (I haven't fact-checked that, just IMDB'd it, so I'm not positive) and IMDB users have it listed as the #9 movie ever made.

I don't think that's going to happen to The Battle of the Five Armies.  Thus far, The Hobbit movies haven't received great reviews;  the first came across as a little too Disney for more serious fans, and the second got a lot of "this is just more of the same."  Neither bodes well for the final movie.

I don't know where my expectations are for this, the 6th and final LOTR movie.  I am so excited about it, I really am, but I am trying hard not to set myself up for disappointment.

The Hobbot: The Battle of the Five Armies opens December 17, 2014.  Hopefully, we'll end this thing right.