New Job, Global Pandemic - NBD, Really

In the midst of a global pandemic, I started a new job.

It's not like I did this on purpose. I wasn't just bored and said to myself, "Well. I don't have enough stress and chaos in my life, let's throw that secure job out the window and try something new!"  But, through a combination of organizational change, conflicting schedules, and someone apparently eating a bat(?), here I am.

It's just as scary as I thought it would be. There's the normal first day stress - what do I wear, who do I ask for help, how do I know I'm doing the right training or attending the right meeting.

There's also what I'll call WTF Pandemic Stress.

Some WTFPS is just an amped-up version of normal first day stress: What do I wear when my orientation will be remote? I'll have to turn the webcam on - Do I need a suit jacket? or pants? Okay, yes, I definitely need pants - are jeans okay? Should I be wearing shoes?

But most WTFPS is bizarre, WTF am I doing, stress.  For example:

• Literally everyone at the company is working from home - I can't wander the office halls until I find someone who can give me some direction. Do I just ping random people until I find someone who can help me? There are close to 2000 people at this company - that seems like a terrible idea. It may become necessary. 
• I have no idea who my boss is - like, none. I think maybe I have two? or three? Someone who is my "team coordinator" reached out, but they specifically called out that they are not my manager. The person who is most likely to be my manager can't meet with me until next week. Who am I supposed to be taking direction from? 
• How do I know what this company is actually like? Usually the first week is key - is everyone laughing and chatting, or is the office silent? Do engineers have stickers on their laptops? Are people silently rolling their eyes when I ask for help or not? I NEED BODY LANGUAGE TO UNDERSTAND PEOPLE. 

WTFPS also works against the seemingly positive things about this new job and its weird remote orientation.  Everyone I've talked to so far has been super sympathetic and kind - is this normal? Would I be told to relax and take things at my own pace if I were in the office? Should I feel bad that my motivation is low because I'm sick of being trapped in my house and I mostly want to play Animal Crossing while I listen to training videos?

There's no remote equivalent of being in the office, especially right now. There just isn't.

Am I being paranoid? Probably. Is it justified? Again, probably.
This is a global pandemic. Why tf am I starting a new job again?