Why I Won't Sign the Petition

A particular link has been floating around my social media the last few days.  If you're liberal and pissed off like me, you've probably seen it -- the Petition to ask the Electoral College to elect Hillary Clinton on Dec. 19th.  Hell, it's certainly possible that you've signed it.  As I write this, nearly 4 million people have. 

I won't be joining those numbers. 

And I'm getting some skepticism as a result.  My husband is thinking about signing it, and my mom texted me this morning to say that she already did.  The consistent question is, "will you?" 

The answer is no. 

It's a hard decision.  My social media is littered with people giving Trump supporters the finger, and every major news outlet is filled with "Day # in Trump's America" stories, most of which tend to be violent and hate-filled.  Our country is swept with protests and anger -- not unlike what Trump supports themselves threatened just days ago when we were as equally sure of a Clinton victory as we are of her defeat now.  Like so many others, I want to do something to help.

Amy Poehler's Smart Girls twitter account is filled with women doing great things to help our country, to help our fellow women, to help those who have been marginalized and made to feel low, worthless, threatened, and more during the presidential campaign.  I've been following and watching and left thinking that I am not doing enough.  That I could be doing more. 

But I remain unconvinced that encouraging the Electoral College to put Hillary Clinton in power is it. 

Before I explain my reasoning, let me say this:  I am an ardent Clinton supporter.  I followed her campaign, continually educated myself on her career and setbacks, tweeted my support, encouraged others on the fence to vote for her, defended her to those who hated her.  I watched in horror as our country turned away from her victory, and I bawled watching her concession speech. 

I've worn purple every day since in solidarity for the message of unity and strength she's trying to send. 

My opposition to this petition has nothing to do with her.  If it went through, and the Electoral College did put her in power, I would be not-so-secretly thrilled. 

But I still won't sign it, and here's why. 

First: The Electoral College is representative of democracy in our country.  There are 538 votes in the College, direct correspondents to the 435 members of the House of Representatives, the 100 members of the Senate, and 3 to represent the District of Columbia, which for some reason doesn't get represented in Congress (that's another essay. Whew.).  The vote of the people in each state, then, basically pledges its electorate to vote accordingly, so when the majority of one state votes for Clinton, the electorate of the state follows suit. 

As we know, she did not earn enough electoral votes to win. 

With this set up, the Electoral College is in direct correspondence to the way our country governs.  They are representative of democracy just as clearly as Congress itself, and so to question that, to throw this one system under the bus, is to throw most of our government under the bus as well. 

If you think back, this is the same issue that the media shouted about when Trump, just a few short weeks ago, claimed the system was rigged against him.  Everyone immediately jumped on the bandwagon of "Trump wants to overthrow democracy" -- and now the opposite side has jumped on too.  The pendulum has merely swung the other way. 

So there is this problem.  But I would argue that the second reason I'm not signing the petition, and the problems said reason entails, is much more significant. 

Just a few weeks ago, when Trump was calling the election rigged and leaving the American people with the promise of "keeping them in suspense" regarding whether or not he would concede the race if he lost, his supporters threatened violence.  One New York Times article recounted a series of interviews with individuals who genuinely believed that violence, bloodshed, and even revolution waited on the horizon if Trump didn't win the White House on November 8.  

Since he won, those threats have vanished (of course) and been replaced by the smug call for liberals to "get over it" and start supporting our President-elect.  I suspect these same people have forgotten that they would never have just gotten over it if Clinton won, but that's my whole point! 

Right now, Clinton supports across the country are pissed.  They are rioting.  LA and Oregon and NYC and more have been dealing with massive protests for days, complete with all the violence, effigy-burning, and calls of "Not My President" that Trump supporters threatened.  It's all too easy to mistake Clinton's supporters now as Trump ones, and that's terrifying.  But before long, it'll be over. 

This is not to say that the anger will stop, or the will to fight be defeated.  I desperately hope not.  But the riots and protests will stop, in time, and instead, Clinton supporters will turn their anger into something positive, something hopeful.  They will get out there and work for change -- they'll donate money, volunteer time, join smaller-scale protests for more dedicate causes.  They'll write their Congress-people, celebrate advances in supports for sexual assault victims and those who practice different religions and the LGBTQ+ community.  They will work for change, and if they are just as motivated in the years to come as they are now, they'll be successful. 

Their work will keep our country moving forward, embracing progress. 

Putting Clinton in the White House certainly won't stop any of that, of course. 

So imagine with me December 19th.  The Electoral College meets.  They swallow their promises to vote with their states, they pay their fines, and they put Hillary Clinton in office instead of Donald Trump. 

More importantly, imagine the fallout. 

Imagine what his supporters will do.  At their core, most of the people who supported Trump did so because they wanted someone anti-establishment, someone who was not a career politician and who 'told it like it is,' even if that includes hate speech.  They convinced themselves to look beyond the man who is willing to commit and thereafter glorify sexual assault just because he's famous and instead focus on his promises to deport immigrants and build a wall. 

Putting a career politician into office will only incise them.

If we ignore the racism and the bigotry and the misogyny and everything else that Trump spewed throughout his campaign and just focus on his stance on the issues, what is left is a man who is primarily concerned with looking out for himself.  His attitude extends into his policies, into the American people:  Get rid of the Environmental Protection Agency, so the USA doesn't have the take care of the environment.  End relationships with NATO and other trade organizations, in an attempt to keep jobs in the USA.  Require other countries to pay for our military support, so we don't have to take care of the rest of the world.  And so on. 

Each shows a world where America comes first, and the rest of the world second, and that is dangerous.  His supporters are obviously on board, which is also dangerous. 

Because though Hillary supporters will eventually tire of protesting and get to work making the world a better place, Trump supporters will not. 

They have bought into this idea that you should only care for yourself, and fuck everyone else.

So what will they do if the Electoral College puts Hillary Clinton in office? 

Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  They will sit back, and bitch about career politicians and rigged systems and minorities 'stealing' votes without ever once considering how to make things better.  And then, when we come to another election in 2020, they'll elect a crazy person all over again. 

That's how they responded to the world the first time around.  I'm mystified as to why anyone thinks it will change going forward. 

President-elect Trump is an absolutely terrifying prospect, there is no doubt about that.  Hillary Clinton in office would have been a giant leap forward for our country, and I remain saddened that it's not going to happen.  I'm saddened too by the fact that we now have no idea who our first female president might be.  There are no up and coming female Democrats to undertake the mantle, and after how Clinton was treated, and how our fellow countrymen have voted, I don't blame them. 

In a way though, we need Trump.  We need people to be willing work for change, to speak up against injustice and fight the systems that marginalized everyone except straight white males.  Trump, if anything, motives these voters more furiously than ever.  

It's a long, hard road before us, but when have things ever been easy?  And as history has shown us time and time again, never underestimate the power of people who are willing to work for change.  

I woke up this morning to a new president...

I woke up this morning to a new president, and it wasn't who I thought it was going to be. 

This is not, by any means, a unique sentiment.  It is in fact an extremely common one, expressed and decried by many as the numbers continue to trickle in and the gap between our old world and our future continues to widen. 

Like so many others, I'm not sure what to do with this new information yet.  A great part of me wants to scream and cry and rage against the system.  Another part wants to take a hot shower and cry it out.  Another wants to fight back -- start volunteering immediately, start spending my time and energy with activities to help those I couldn't with my vote. 

Yet another, and perhaps the largest, wants to sit on the couch and watch Netflix. 

This worried me at first.  I sat on the couch and watched The Crown for much of last night, though I used "watched" loosely as most of the time I was anxiously hitting 'refresh' on my phone's browser.  All that time, I couldn't think of anything except, "Oh my god, what do we do if Clinton loses? If Trump wins?" 

 And today I'm finding that what I want to do is sit on the couch and wait until the horrible, sinking reality of our future sinks in. 

After pondering this feeling for a while, I realized what it is, and the reality shook me almost as much as the election itself. 

It's grief. 

Last year I lost a student, and the feeling that's settled over me now is so like what I went through in the days that followed the news.  It's not the same burning, tearing, heart-wrenching grief of the first days, when it first happened and I spent all my time trying to take care of everyone left behind.  No, this isn't as sharp, as deep. 

It is instead the numbing kind of grief that lingers in the back of my mind, in my heart.  The kind that makes the world seem unreal, like this can't really be happening. 

That's why I want to just sit and do nothing.  Then things can pass over me without my having to exert any effort toward anything, and instead I can try to understand this enormous, world-changing news. 

And just like grief, it's not going anywhere. 

I still remember when I learned that the world was not as lovely as I thought.  Like so many others, I went through my formative high school years with blinders on, immune to the deeper darkness of the world.  But college… there I learned about what happened beyond my world. 

I learned about educational systems and how to read statistics and the art of argumentation.  I learned about the history of democracy, the systemic racism that undermines our country's basic tenets, and the myriad of ways the world fights to keep people down, and angry.  I learned about system change, how hard it is to accomplish and why it is so necessary to try. 

Many in the country would call this the institutional liberalization of young people.  I do not.

There is space in the world for more than one worldview to be right.  I have difficulty agreeing with any politicking, argumentation, or otherwise that suggests differently. 

In learning about all the ways that we as a nation have tried to keep those less fortunate condemned to their part, I also learned about many of the issues that Trump supporters claim as their standing:  the hatred of political correctness, the anti-establishment sentiment, the inherent distrust of career politicians.   I understand why people across the country felt the need to take a stand, and I understand the desire for change. 

But there is a dark side to this desire for change, because it led us here, to the announcement of President-elect Trump. 

So I must ask this now:  Why Trump? 

I've read dozens of articles in the last several months analyzing the election.  The Wall Street implications of either candidates' election, the pros and cons of gun control, interviews with supports and detractors on both sides, empathetic pieces about Hillary's fight as a woman in politics and about Trump's lonely position at the top of the GOP: I have read them all.  What stands out now, with the stunning outcome of the election, is the defense that his supports continue to mount.

Twitter, liberal-leaning news outlets, and other forms of social media are filled with outrage over the outcome of this election.  Not just outrage -- pure hatred, in some cases -- and it is all aimed at those who elected Trump.  Who put America in this position.  Who looked at the choice between hate and progress, and bubbled in their ballots accordingly. 

I understand where they are coming from, because I too am coming from there.  I grieve for the nation we could have had under Madame President Clinton.  Hell, I grieve for what we could have had under Bernie Sanders, despite how I doubt his electability. 

But I understand the other side too.  A few months ago, the New York Times ran a fabulous article about Trump's support base, those disenfranchised people searching for someone, anyone, in Washington who cared about them.  They found him, and they clung tight, and now we see the outcome. 

Bashing them, and their decision, does little to progress change in our nation.  It instead divides us just as clearly as Trump himself, and as Lincoln once implored us, a House divided against itself cannot stand. 

Again, I must ask: Why Trump?

The desire for a Washington outsider, for someone who speaks their mind and isn't afraid to call the politicians on their bullshit, for a champion of the anti-establishment cause, is one we can all relate to.  There's no denying that that person wasn't Hillary Clinton; the case for her just isn't there. 

But neither can I let these supporters off the hook. 

Trump ran on a campaign that promoted hate from the start.  His opening campaign speech touted Mexican immigrants as rapists, and things got worse from there.  He has been openly racist, calling for poll monitoring in "urban" areas to ensure a fair election.  He has been openly misogynistic, including claiming ownership to women's bodies and suggesting that, like so many men before him, he has that right simply by being male.  He has incited violence against his opponent, invited foreign espionage and sabotage against our country, and those are just moments within his recent political career.  I have not even touched on his business dealings, nor will I for the sake of my sanity. 

When I ask why Trump, I mean it -- why, out of all the people available in the primaries, was this man the choice for a nominee, for a President?  Many of those who voted for him are upset about being named as racist, bigoted, misogynistic, and more, and I have seen them question and call out this behavior as inappropriate.  What I continually fail to understand, then, is why these same people have chosen to ally themselves with Trump in the first place. 

Basic voting advice is this: Choose the candidate who most closely aligns with your personal views. 

Why is it so wrong to worry that half of our citizens are racist, or misogynistic, or homophobic, or anything else, when they have chosen as their candidate a man who spews this rhetoric on a constant basis?

We as a country should be the shining example of peace and progress in the world.  America has been the greatest nation on the planet for many years, and I am saddened now to realize that we are living through its downfall.  At one point, Britain was the world's greatest power; it was never one event that brought them low but instead a series of smaller moments that shifted until we were in the spotlight. 

Now we watch as the spotlight starts to fade, and wonder what happened.  We shout at each other instead of standing strong.  We could be a great country again, but minimizing our own citizens is not the way to do it.  We become great by lifting everyone up, not by choosing only the parts of the speech we want to hear and denying the rest matters. 

Change is coming. 

It is likely not the change we truly want. 

Perhaps there will be more hope, more inclusion, in the future than Trump's campaign suggests. The part of me that deeply, desperately understands the desire for a change of the establishment remains hopeful that this is possible, despite all the evidence to the contrary. 

But it is hard to watch the disappointment on my students' faces.  They are coming to grips with the world as we turn a potentially dark corner.  They do not see hope; they see devastation.  They see a world where their Muslim friends are scared of being ousted, where their LGBTQ+ classmates don't know where they stand, where their white peers brag about the defeat of a woman who has devoted her life to public service.  They see darkness where there should be light. 

I cannot bear to watch them give up.  The force for change, for good, still exists in the world.  We can make great change, and in doing so, we can make America great again.  I don't know that I'll ever understand why so many seem to think Trump is the answer to that equation, but I know that the grief will pass.  In time, we will fight again, and we will be smarter, stronger, for it. 

It is up to us to rebuild the house Lincoln spoke of, to put our country back together the way we want the future to look. 

So cry it out.  Scream, and shout, and grieve in front of Netflix, and when you are done, when I am done, when the reality of our future has sunk in, stand up.  Keep going.  Question the system that perpetuates racism, misogyny, and every other ugly bigotry.  Push those who wanted to vote Trump and then sit back, their job somehow finished as if they are absolved of responsibility for who they put in office, to explain their thinking, to face the reality they've created. 

When the darkness hits them too, they will be all the more devastated by it because they thought they were fighting back.  The people who right now appear our enemies in fact need our empathy more than anything.  We need everyone to change the world, not just those who agree. 

It's a long, hard fight ahead of our nation, and we don't yet know if we have a President who will actually lead us to change.  The one thing that never changes about politicians is the giving of promises that go unfulfilled.  I have trouble believing that that, of all things, will change now. 

I must abide by what Hillary Clinton said in her concession speech.  We do indeed owe President-elect Trump the chance to lead. 

But we cannot wait and see what happens -- we have to be the force for good in the world, no matter if he is our nation's greatest president, or our worst. 

We can do this.  Be the light, be the change, and don't give up.  Even if it takes years, it will be forever worth it to try.