Bishop and I finished How I Met Your Mother (HIMYM) yesterday. We had finished the rest of season 9 days ago, and I had read about and consequently spoiled the ending for us back around April, when the episode first aired; we put off the last two episodes as long as we could.
But it's finally finished, and I'm struggling to come to terms with the ending.
I have long despised the title of this show: I think it is wildly mis-named, and after seeing the ending, I still think that. I always say, hey, if Bishop and I ever have kids, I'm not going to start the story of how we met when I was eight (since we met when we were around 15)! That's insanity! I also would not include all the people I have banged prior to meeting Bishop (spoiler alert: it's zero), like Ted chooses to do when discussing his journey to their mom with his kids.
Those issues aside... I don't hate the ending to this show. There are certain aspects of it that I find ridiculous, but frankly, it seems worse on paper than in the actual show.
My biggest issue with it, as I was watching Barney and Robin prepare for their wedding throughout the last season, was the foreknowledge that they were going to break up. They are consistently a cute, growing couple who are learning together how to make their relationship work -- that's so realistic, even if most relationships don't involve climbing around through heating vents, booby-trapping elevators, or inviting bears to a wedding. Everybody struggles to make their relationship work at times. And frankly, the wedding represents so much growth for both characters, and I always thought it was so neat for them to go through that together.
The last two episodes show the gradual break-down of their relationship, and frankly, on paper, it sounds awful: they get divorced because Robin travels too much. But the direction of the actual events is fairly realistic. They start out seeming really happy, having adventures, etc, and slowly, as they travel to more places, as Robin's job starts to be all-consuming, you see their foundation start to crack. When they do finally decide to get divorced, after three years of marriage, it's sad but it makes sense.
Their break-up infuriated my brother, who spent our discussion of HIMYM's ending ranting over how the writers fucked over Barney, who experienced so much growth and then, after the divorce, goes right back to being an insane womanizer. After watching it myself though, I kinda get it. They did screw over Barney, it's true; he's been the primary character to experience growth throughout the show anyway, since Ted has a totally one-track mind and the rest of them are static too. But I wonder how realistic his return to screwing everything that walks might be. After all, he tried really, really hard to make things work with Robin; he changed his own life so they could be together and happy. If I had done that, and then it ended abruptly, I bet I would probably revert right back to that old behavior too. At one point, Lily says, "Barney, really??" when he starts up his old habits again, and Barney even says, "Lily, I tried. If it wasn't going to work with Robin, it's not going to work with anyone," and asks them to just let him be himself. I don't love it, but I think it is fairly realistic.
Bishop and I were both really upset that they decided to kill the Mother too. She's present throughout the season, and she's absolutely hilarious -- there are a lot of moments where you kinda go, "so... she's just a carbon copy of Ted..." but she's written to be so clever and smart too that you can't help but like her. The whole season is interspersed with big moments in her and Ted's relationship: their first date, special trips to celebrate things, their engagement, the birth of their children, etc. And they seem so happy together, like I picture so many perfect-for-each-other couples as they grow together.
The choice to kill her was a terrible one. The show could have been so cute and perfect to end with their wedding day and a flashback to them introducing themselves (which is one of the last moments of the final episode). Audiences would have been happy, I really believe that.
AND it would have given Ted some growth as a character! It would have shown his ability to grow up, to give up on ridiculous ideas and focus on living his life in the present instead of in the realm of "what could have been." He really needed some: he fell in love with Robin in the first episode and never gave that up, going back to her countless times in his head and a lot of times in the show's events too. Frankly, I feel like going back to her at the end treats audiences like they aren't capable of understanding anything else, like they needed Ted to go back so the show could make sense -- which is bullshit! Ok, deep breath.
The moment I read that the writers/directors of HIMYM had filmed the ending of the show in advance so that the kids didn't age 10 years in the process of making the entire show, I knew he would go back to Robin. I wasn't happy about it, but I absolutely knew it.
The parts I struggle with the most about the ending are the last 3-4 minutes. The Mom is dead, Ted is 50ish and going gray, and his kids are roughly 15 and 12-13. He finishes his story, and they both react the same way: "Nope. You wanna bone Aunt Robin." And within about 35 seconds, they've got Dad-Ted convinced, and off to win Robin's heart he goes.
That is nonsense. Those kids would have been little when the mom died -- she's been dead for 6 years by 2030 (when Ted is telling the story), which means the girl would have been 9 and the boy about 6-7. I feel like, if you lose a parent that young, you are probably traumatized by the idea of your parent dating. I don't know for sure, but that's what I would guess. That's my first problem with it.
My second problem is this: I can buy into the idea of the kids saying, "Dad, you should be happy." I really can; they're young, but I remember being around 15 when I first realized my parents should definitely be divorced, and when that finally happened when I was 19, one of my primary reactions was, "Thank god, now maybe they can both be happy [since they hated each other's guts while married]." So I don't have a problem with their ages there, though given argument #1, I still think it's a little far-fetched.
That thought aside, I really just find it sad that Ted gives in so quickly. It doesn't take long, almost as if he told them this long elaborate story just to get them on his side, just to get them to think it was their idea that he chase after his long-lost love. The way the end is written makes Ted seem incredibly manipulative, not sweet or loving about his dead wife. Their relationship throughout the last season is so sweet; they are so clearly written as being perfect for each other, and perfectly happy together, as if no one else could ever come close. That's supposed to be the idea: Ted's been waiting for his perfect woman to be his wife, and he finally finds her. But then they're together for 11 years, she dies, and he just goes, "Well, back to Robin then!" As if she was never even there!
That's what I hate about this ending. My husband is my best friend, my soulmate; if, god forbid, he passed away, I would be destroyed, probably forever. It would take years of convincing to move on, not minutes. And if we had kids, the convincing certainly couldn't come from them; I'd feel like I was betraying his memory. Apparently, Ted feels none of that, and I find that incredibly unrealistic.
So now the show is over. There were so many 'legendary' moments, and there were a lot of duds too. But it was worth watching, even with the not-quite-satisfying ending.
Now I need another comedy to obsess over...
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