When You Play the Game of Thrones...

... You Win or You Snooze, apparently.  

I’ve been watching the first season of Game of Thrones lately, and my god! Is it boring!

I can’t believe it – I loved these books, and I was sucked in like you would not believe.  How did such a masterpiece fizzle into this show where it’s all talking and naked people? Even some of the big moments – Bran getting pushed out the window, for example – come across as slow and non-essential due to their filming. Instead, the whole plot revolves around Sean Bean as Ned Stark, and he (frankly) does little but make stupid decisions and talk to people about stuff I can’t yet piece together. 

So much goes unsaid in this show! I’ve been watching it with my husband, Bishop, and he has a hard time following it; I am constantly explaining what Ned is thinking because the show just hints at everything.  I spend a fair amount of time confused myself, not only because I read the books in 2011 but also because the show just isn’t written very clearly.  There’s too much subtext and not enough actual text. 

And sure, sexual tension in a show can be super interesting.  It’s just not present in GoT – people are naked almost as an afterthought, just walking around with boobs flapping about.  When there is actual sex, there’s no build-up to it; someone just walks into a room, or the scene changes, and there are people getting it on.  Maybe that’s fascinating to the rest of America, but I much prefer watching the chase and enjoying the act myself, instead of the other way around. 

(Also, as a mini-side-rant, can we please have a warning when a dick is about to make an appearance?? I’m a straight girl, so I am generally okay with them, but that doesn’t mean I want to suddenly encounter one dangling when I thought I was just watching TV.  I’ve taken a very unscientific poll and no guy I can find wants to see that either, so I’m just saying: get rid of the pickle shots. /endrant)

So many people love this show, RAVE about this show! I must be missing something.  I knew going in that it was a medieval fantasy tale with a political mind, but I never guessed I would be so bored. 

Right now, I’m about four episodes in, and I’m having trouble convincing myself to keep going. Some reviews online suggest that it picks up around episodes 5-7, depending on which review you read, so I remain hopeful.  But if this doesn’t pick up by the end of the first season, I guarantee there won’t be a GoT fan writing this blog.